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Japanese boys don’t know how to become men

December 16, 2006

If you for any reason had an idea that this was your typical Japanese male:

Think again.

I got my first kancho a couple of weeks ago. I had been lulled into a false sense of security by the fact that my kids are generally shier… shyer… more shy than your average Japanese person, due to the fact that out here seeing people is a pretty uncommon thing. So although I had heard of this bizarre practice, I assumed I wouldn't be subjected to it. Well, I was wrong. They were just biding their time.

For anyone who doesn't know what a kancho is, basically, it involves clasping your hands, steepling your index fingers, then sneaking up behind someone and ramming it into their anus. Seriously. The primary school kids love it.

It's been represented in their cartoons and such as well, giving a pretty typical reaction.

Well, now that the ice has been broken, it's pretty much open season on my ass any time I'm at the primary school. Gotta be on alert at all times in case some boy comes up and violates me while I'm not paying attention.

It's not so big with the middle school kids, but it probably still happens. Anyway, this got me thinking. I have been constantly surprised since I got here at the things that these guys here do which would have basically been suicidal in the New Zealand schoolyard, as they would be inviting a prime bashing, for being gay.

The first thing I noticed was before school started, and the kids weren't in uniform yet, that one of the 3rd year boys quite often wore a pink Sesame Street T-shirt. But I was willing to let it slide. The fact that the kids hung out around school fairly often during the holidays was weird enough in itself.

During the Sports Day, I was very surprised to find the large number of male cheerleaders. In fact, they seemed to be taking charge, waving pompoms about with great gusto, while the girls beat out rhythms on the drums – something I would have considered a largely male thing. Made me laugh for a while, until I saw just how seriously they were taking it. The guys got really serious, sorting out choreography and all sorts.

During the set-up for the Cultural Day, the boys got right into directing the plays and stuff. One of the star players in the sewing team to help put together the dresses and other outfits for the productions was a boy. He loved it.

The most constant reminder of the slightly-less-than-masculine mentality that I come across, though, is the writing. In English classes, where the kids have to write about what they would wish for, or what their dream is, or things like that, most boys that age would be wishing for video games, or sports abilities, or girls, or things like that. Instead, these guys are wishing for world peace, and a planet where everyone can smile.

I don't know if I find this all particularly strange because I come from a country which is pretty hard-line on femininity in guys, or if this would be weird to anyone. In any case, it's pretty pervasive. Have you seen their hair?

They are always touching each other, and especially around the age of about 11, they seem to like sitting on each others laps. Sometimes, things develop a little further.

(Sorry Tina, the photo was just too perfect. I'll take it down if you want :))

The fact that this guy is one of their more popular celebrities probably doesn't help matters any:

What's his name? Hard Gay.

Word of the Day同性愛douseiai – gay.

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