It's another boring day at work – it's the school holidays after all – and so I was cleaning up my desk and found this little gem which I had been handed way back in October. It cracked me up then, and it cracks me up again now, reading the best attempt at English that Kyoto's City Hall can pull together (addressed as coming from "The 382nd eight countries"):
"I always have particular understanding and cooperation and, about promotion of a jet program, am very grateful. In Kyoto, I drive a car under the influence of alcohol (I serve it by motor bike and bicycle.) I prohibit it strictly conventionally and, about wrongful conducts with unpleasant drinking, am coping fairly. In addition, this time a group of the foriegn country young man whom it was said to when JET participated if Halloween became near drunk in the JR station yard from the railway police authorities and amounted to a turmoil act, and there was a request to be thorough by guidance to wake up a nuisance act to other passengers for more than 5.
When it is put in your group, I know it with it being usually carried out guidance in in duties to a Japan Exchange and Teaching participant and life more positively, but Japan Exchange and Teaching stands on what is carried out by public money, and disciplinary measures severe disposal asks a Japan Exchange and Teaching participant for what is given again so that I do not lose trust of a citizen of prefecture as a public employee, the staff of a school when I have guidance be thorough and performed a problem and the drink-driving that it is it particularly recently so that, at the same time, common knowledge has you be thorough."
That's the entire message. It's not even signed off. It just stops. Anybody know what I was supposed to take from that?? It looks like someone just pulled out their dictionary and went at it with a word-by-word translation, grammar be damned. It starts off sounding like a public apology, then seems to turn into a mix between a condemnation and a warning. Also, notice the entire final paragraph is just one long sentence?
Jesus. No wonder we're needed here.